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Funny stuff

Below are a number of writings showing a lighter side of science controversy.  Although presented as humour, their main purpose is to be educational, and hopefully you’ll learn from their content.  Enjoy!

Relativity Facepalm

Relativity Facepalm - part 2

Solving the Twins Paradox

Dead Twins

On Grey Holes and Strings


Progressive scientist:
We are pleased to announce our team has finally completed its year-long research into the standard model of particle physics using the newer-generation accelerators.  Our results show strong promise for the possibility of cold fusion, while also indicating that various assumptions behind quantum chromodynamics need to be sharply resived, and that certain aspects of Big Bang cosmology should be dismissed altogether.  We herein submit our results for publication and invite your considered review.

Mainstream response:
Sneer, sneer, jeer, jeer, scoff, snort... "but Einstein said...blah blah... and according to Hawking...rhubarb rhubarb"... snarl, snort, scoff, deride, deny, denounce, suppress, censure, ban, bury.

 

Physics priest:  “I will now read from the Gospel according to Saint Feynman.”
    (reads chapter from Feynman Lectures)

Congregation:  “Albert-u Akbar, Amen.”

Priest:  “We’ll now take up the weekly collection.  Please place your funding grants on the collection plate.”

Chief layman:  (comes rushing in, breathless)  “Sire, people are questioning our holy scripture.  They’re saying dark energy is hogwash.”

Priest:  “What?  Sacrilege!  Quick, everyone to the forums.  And be sure to call them crackpots.”

Chief layman:  “But Your Holiness, that line of attack is wearing thin.  Commoners are branding it ad-hominem and unscientific.”

Priest:  “Uhh, okay.  Then call them asshats.  And translate it to Latin so it sounds professional.”

Congregation:  (quickly scatters from the pews and exits).

 


You might also enjoy these poems by William Newtspeare:

The Walrus and the Physicist

The Hoke’s Buzzard

 


Copyright © 2016 Bernard Burchell, all rights reserved.